Miriam Rose Davis . 12.11.10 . 3 days past due
God ALWAYS Answers Prayers!
As a woman enters a pregnancy, she starts down a path that will present her with many opportunities for learning and personal growth. Miriam’s birth was no exception to this. As this was my fourth pregnancy, I wasn’t new to this journey and was eager to see where this one would take me.
The first decision we made in regard to this pregnancy was to give birth at home without a midwife or doctor in attendance. In the “birth world” this is referred to as an unassisted birth. Most people you visit with will find this idea extremely dangerous, but there is a small group of people who see the value to this way and of course there are some who even think it’s the only way to give birth. After our journey through this pregnancy and birth, I can honestly say I actually fit in the middle of the road on this issue.
Our prior births were wonderful! Each was vaginal, natural births. The first was at a hospital with one of the midwives on call. Our second and third births were at home with a midwife. Each experience was life changing. As we prepared for our fourth birth, it was time to evaluate how we wanted to do it. After much soul searching and prayer, we came to the conclusion that it was time to do it on our own. By choosing to give birth unassisted, we knew that many people would not understand and ever sadder yet, wouldn’t want to try to understand. Because of this, we kept our decision quiet.
Thankfully this pregnancy was a normal one because the mental battles it provided were enough. At the end of pregnancy, I found myself quite swollen due to poor nutritional choices earlier. While I was uncomfortable because of this, I learned much about how the body reacts to the foods I eat. Each discomfort provides an opportunity to learn and to grow!
Around the eighth month, I decided to write my baby’s birth story as if it had already happened. It was a fun project to do and I found myself really sinking into the story and believing it. But then I set the story aside and forgot about it. As the weeks rolled by, normal mom fears about birth started to sink in. The problem with this for me was that I teach childbirth education, I am a doula, I am a student midwife, I basically preach a trust birth message to all I meet because I feel so deeply that birth is safe. Fueling these deep feelings that birth is safe, is a deep faith in my Creator. He created me, He created birth, He didn’t make any mistakes. What you put your energy into, you will create. If you put it into worry and fear, you can create the very thing you are worried and fearful of. I did not want to be in this state. I did not want to allow those worries and fears to drive me. It’s ok to have some fear and worry, it motivates you to learn more, to be better, to grow, but you can not allow yourself to “live” in that state.
I reached a point in my fear where I could no longer see the birth past the labor. I could not imagine a baby at the end. If I dared to picture the baby, I could not picture the baby breathing. It was a terrible place to be. And yet, in spite of being in such a crummy place, I recognized that I had a huge opportunity for growth here. I knew that this birth was going to be amazing and I knew that it would prepare me for my next big adventure in the birth world. Because of this, I needed to tackle these fears and I needed to exert dominion over the enemy who was trying to control me. I was in the car one day; near the end of the pregnancy, really feeling overwhelmed and knew it was time to put an end to it. I told myself, “I TRUST BIRTH AND I TRUST BIRTH’S CREATOR!” Mind you, I didn’t just think it; I chanted it out loud in the car as I drove, over and over and over again. With tears streaming down my face I started to believe once more in my body and in birth. That night at home in my office, I pulled out the birth story I had written about 4 weeks prior and read it again. There it was! My baby was born! My baby took a breath! My baby was healthy! By reading my story again, I was able to once again see beyond my fears and my worries! I was able to believe in myself, my body, my baby! I found out later that several friends, who had already committed to pray for me and my baby, had been prompted that same evening to pray even more for me. God knew I needed a little extra boost that night to get over the hump of my battle.
The thing is, as I was walking through this battlefield of doubts, worry and fear, I knew deep within me, that this was a good thing. That if I did it right, I would come out on the other end stronger and more prepared. Knowing this didn’t necessarily make the journey an easy one, but maybe a tad easier to understand. While I was going through this, unknown to me, my husband was battling with some doubts and fears himself. He is a man of great faith and trust in the human body. While he was fighting this, God spoke to him and told him it wasn’t his battle to go through, it was mine. I was the one who needed to go through this. God’s plans are so great and so much bigger than any of us can envision and He knew I needed this opportunity.
After I conquered my fears that night, the last two weeks of my pregnancy went by relatively well. I was tired, I was swollen, I was ornery, I was ready for my baby, but these are normal end of pregnancy discomforts. The battle I had to fight had been conquered. I was ready for the labor and birth to begin!
For several years I had been reading about pain free birth. It is completely possible for a woman to have a pain free birth. Naturally, I wanted one! The problem with pain free births is that in our society, we literally grow in the womb of a woman who doesn’t believe or even know of a pain free birth. From that moment until the moment we give birth, we are surrounded with the belief that birth is painful. Because of that deep belief, it generally is painful. Some women are able to break that pattern of belief and achieve the pain free birth that I was praying for. In other societies, pain free birth is the norm and it is from them, that women have begun to dream of this possibility.
Two days after my due date, on a Friday, I left by myself to run some errands. I returned home at 5pm and went to use the bathroom. As I was finishing up, the thought ran through my head, “I wonder when I’m going to lose my plug”. With the previous births, I had lost my plug just prior to going into labor and so for me, this is a sign of labor approaching soon. As I stood from the toilet, I felt something release and a gush of fluid! How ironic the timing of that thought followed by that release! When I looked at the “goop”, however, it looked yellowy-green. I had always read that green fluid is a sign of meconium and is not a good thing. While this wasn’t dark like the green I had envisioned, it made me concerned. I showed Jon and we talked about it. I had prayed very hard that if a reason arose for the need to go to the hospital, that God would really hit me over the head with it, because it was going to take a big thing to get me to leave my home. I know that if we went in because of this, it would lead to an induction which leads to a lot more pain which can frequently lead to a cesarean which can lead to NICU for baby…simply a road I wanted to avoid. I started to believe that this was simply another test for me. In the end, I was correct, it was nothing more than the mucous and when baby came out there was no sign of meconium at all.
Within thirty minutes of the water rupturing, the contractions began. Nothing wild and crazy, nothing overly demanding, but they were there and they were consistent. While we did not intend on having a midwife at the birth, we did have two friends committed to helping us. One was here to help with the boys and all the other little miscellaneous things that crop up at a birth and the other to video the birth for us. The first one had an hour drive, so it was hard to know when was the right time to call these ladies to come. Each of my births have gone faster, the last being only 5 hours, so I didn’t want to stall too long in calling them.
By nine in the evening, 4 hours after the water ruptured, both friends were here, everyone waiting upon my body and the baby’s to get to work! But nothing really happened and at ten the kids went to bed and Jon and I laid down in the living room to take a nap. The friends were supposed to rest, too, but they had more difficulty! Jon spent the time praying, I dozed in and out trying not to dwell on things I have little control over. During the next two hours, the contractions slowed down even more and even felt like they had stopped. I found myself wondering if I was really in labor or if I had made a mistake.
Two hours later, at midnight I awoke to use the bathroom. When I finished, I went into the toy room where one of the friends was waiting. She was simply doodling and waiting. She said she was too excited to sleep. This was the first birth she had even been to that didn’t include her own births. As we started to chat, the contractions started to come. This time they were stronger and sharper, lasting a full minute and returning about 3 minutes later. It was nice to know that I hadn’t been fooled by my body, that I was really in labor! Within a few minutes of joining the first friend, the other one somehow knew we were up and she joined us as well. By a quarter after midnight, Jon was up and sitting in our circle as well. We sat and chatted quietly, though I have no memory of what we were talking about. As a contraction came on, we were quiet as I worked with it and then conversation would return. It didn’t take long before I was moving around trying different positions to work through the contractions because they were getting more and more uncomfortable. I sat on the futon; on the futon with my feet raised; leaning forward, on my squatting chair; on the squatting chair leaning on the exercise ball; seated on the ball; kneeling on the floor, resting on the ball…yep…I tried everything I could think if. I finally came to the conclusion, nothing was comfortable and it wasn’t looking good for my pain free birth.
Around 2:30 in the morning, I decided I was ready to get into the pool. Jon had prepared it hours before and it was ready for me! It was actually still too warm and had to be cooled down, but I was able to slip into the warm comfort and get a short breather with the contractions. The transition into the water caused my body to skip a contraction, so instead of them being two to three minutes apart, I had a six minute break. That was nice! Our oldest son was brought down shortly after that. He was eight at the time and was very excited to be a part of the birth and was well prepared. He came down, sat quietly and took a few pictures for me. He’s a very caring boy and knew to be still for me. His presence, which was at the birth of his siblings, has always brought me peace in various ways. I held his hand through one contraction and squeezed it hard at one point…partly because I needed to, partly to show him the intensity of what I was feeling. At the end of the contraction, he looked at me with wide eyes and said, “You were really squeezing hard!”
I stayed in the pool for about 2 hours, until the baby was born. Like labor outside the pool, I had to try all the different positions, struggling to find the right one. Somewhere along the way, I asked Jon to get into the pool with me. He sat in front of me and as a contraction started in, we would grasp hands and I could squeeze his hand and sort of pull with it. It looked an awful lot like we were arm wrestling! But it worked well. There were two distinct moments where I recognized the baby was pushing from the inside. I could feel the little feet pushing off from the top of the fundus, helping with the birth! At 4am I asked that the other two brothers be woke up. Jon wasn’t sure it was the right time, but I could sense we were getting close and I needed to know everyone was where they were supposed to be. I didn’t want anyone to miss the moment.
Sometime after I got into the pool, I finally had to acknowledge that the pain free birth I had been praying so hard for wasn’t going to happen. I was mad! I had wanted that pain free birth so bad and here I was, going through the exact same labor I had with my last child. In my last labor, at one of the final contractions, I was literally biting my hand because the contraction was so strong! I didn’t want his labor all over again. Needless to say, I was pouting and unhappy. But then I realized, just like when I had to tackle my worries and fears prior to labor, I had to tackle my bad attitude about the labor. I remember one distinct break between contractions, when I chose to turn inward. My eyes were open and I was staring off into nothing. In my head, I was giving myself a very stern talking-to. I told myself “You need to stop moping about not getting a pain free birth. God is with you right now! He is holding you up and supporting you! You are not alone! This is the last baby you are going to have and this baby deserves a dignified birth, just like it’s brothers received! It’s time to grow up and stop whining!” The funny part is, from the outside, it look like things are going great, that I had a good handle on the situation. The reality was, I did not! But after that two minute “mind-lashing”, I was much better!
Leading up to pushing the baby out, I had been seated forward, facing Jon, in a position that would be convenient for catching the baby (I had done this the last time and wanted to repeat it with this birth). But at the last moment, I decided to turn around, and rest at the wall of the pool on my knees. I had never pushed on my knees before, this was new to me, but was right for this baby. I could feel it was time to bear down, hard! I could feel from deep within me that this baby will be here very soon! And I was right! The head crowned and while my brain kept saying, feel your baby’s head, I couldn’t get my hand to obey. Jon suggested that I reach down and feel the baby’s head and I am very grateful for that, because I was able to obey him. There was the sweetest, softest, little head at my fingertips. I had waited nine long months for this first touch of heaven! With barely a pause, I muttered to Jon, get ready to catch the rest. I knew the contraction wasn’t going to let up and that the baby was ready to burst out. I could feel the burning and wanted to push gently with it, but the baby was ready to be with us now! One friend thought I was pushing without a contraction and was worried I would tear. Jon wasn’t planning on catching so I when I said to get ready, his response was confused. Within moments, the head was out! I had a moment to catch my breath and then I was pushing the shoulders out. They seemed like more of an effort to release, but then they were out and the rest of the baby slithered out. Jon’s hands were there and without actually catching, he pushed the baby between my legs and I looked down to see my baby “swimming” towards me. I scooped the baby up and leaned back with my prize on my chest!
Within moments, the baby started to take its first little breaths and start crying. When I was confident baby was fine, I prepared to take a peak at the gender. While I envisioned a little penis, I discovered there was none! It was our first girl, Miriam Rose! She was perfect! The rest of the postpartum was just wonderful. Prayers being answered left and right! The placenta came with ease, but strong enough to let me know it was coming. We did the breast crawl with baby and allowed her to find the breast on her own. Nursing was successful! The big brothers were filled with joy! And Jon and I, we were stunned and elated over the beauty of this birth and its journey!
I prayed for a pain free birth. What I received was a fear free birth. It took me a few days to recognize this, but it’s true. God could have given me a pain free birth, but I don’t know what one looks like or feels like. I would have been lost. What He gave me was a birth I KNEW! I knew what was happening with this labor. I knew what would come next because I had already walked this labor before. Because of this, while there was pain, there was no fear. The greatest gift, beyond the baby of course, came after the birth. As I look back at the births of my second and third sons, I generally feel pain and an overwhelming sense of discomfort. We like to say that women forget the pain of birth after the birth and while some do completely, many of us hang on to parts of it. I certainly did with those two births. But I discovered with this last one, within hours after the birth, I could look back upon the birth, the contractions, the pain, and feel nothing but joy. God took away the pain AFTER the birth! What a beautiful gift to receive!
About six weeks after Miriam’s birth, this verse was mentioned at church.
(James 1:2-4) Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
I felt it best spoke of all I learned and gained through Miriam’s pregnancy and birth! It was well worth the mental battles that we walked through!
As a woman enters a pregnancy, she starts down a path that will present her with many opportunities for learning and personal growth. Miriam’s birth was no exception to this. As this was my fourth pregnancy, I wasn’t new to this journey and was eager to see where this one would take me.
The first decision we made in regard to this pregnancy was to give birth at home without a midwife or doctor in attendance. In the “birth world” this is referred to as an unassisted birth. Most people you visit with will find this idea extremely dangerous, but there is a small group of people who see the value to this way and of course there are some who even think it’s the only way to give birth. After our journey through this pregnancy and birth, I can honestly say I actually fit in the middle of the road on this issue.
Our prior births were wonderful! Each was vaginal, natural births. The first was at a hospital with one of the midwives on call. Our second and third births were at home with a midwife. Each experience was life changing. As we prepared for our fourth birth, it was time to evaluate how we wanted to do it. After much soul searching and prayer, we came to the conclusion that it was time to do it on our own. By choosing to give birth unassisted, we knew that many people would not understand and ever sadder yet, wouldn’t want to try to understand. Because of this, we kept our decision quiet.
Thankfully this pregnancy was a normal one because the mental battles it provided were enough. At the end of pregnancy, I found myself quite swollen due to poor nutritional choices earlier. While I was uncomfortable because of this, I learned much about how the body reacts to the foods I eat. Each discomfort provides an opportunity to learn and to grow!
Around the eighth month, I decided to write my baby’s birth story as if it had already happened. It was a fun project to do and I found myself really sinking into the story and believing it. But then I set the story aside and forgot about it. As the weeks rolled by, normal mom fears about birth started to sink in. The problem with this for me was that I teach childbirth education, I am a doula, I am a student midwife, I basically preach a trust birth message to all I meet because I feel so deeply that birth is safe. Fueling these deep feelings that birth is safe, is a deep faith in my Creator. He created me, He created birth, He didn’t make any mistakes. What you put your energy into, you will create. If you put it into worry and fear, you can create the very thing you are worried and fearful of. I did not want to be in this state. I did not want to allow those worries and fears to drive me. It’s ok to have some fear and worry, it motivates you to learn more, to be better, to grow, but you can not allow yourself to “live” in that state.
I reached a point in my fear where I could no longer see the birth past the labor. I could not imagine a baby at the end. If I dared to picture the baby, I could not picture the baby breathing. It was a terrible place to be. And yet, in spite of being in such a crummy place, I recognized that I had a huge opportunity for growth here. I knew that this birth was going to be amazing and I knew that it would prepare me for my next big adventure in the birth world. Because of this, I needed to tackle these fears and I needed to exert dominion over the enemy who was trying to control me. I was in the car one day; near the end of the pregnancy, really feeling overwhelmed and knew it was time to put an end to it. I told myself, “I TRUST BIRTH AND I TRUST BIRTH’S CREATOR!” Mind you, I didn’t just think it; I chanted it out loud in the car as I drove, over and over and over again. With tears streaming down my face I started to believe once more in my body and in birth. That night at home in my office, I pulled out the birth story I had written about 4 weeks prior and read it again. There it was! My baby was born! My baby took a breath! My baby was healthy! By reading my story again, I was able to once again see beyond my fears and my worries! I was able to believe in myself, my body, my baby! I found out later that several friends, who had already committed to pray for me and my baby, had been prompted that same evening to pray even more for me. God knew I needed a little extra boost that night to get over the hump of my battle.
The thing is, as I was walking through this battlefield of doubts, worry and fear, I knew deep within me, that this was a good thing. That if I did it right, I would come out on the other end stronger and more prepared. Knowing this didn’t necessarily make the journey an easy one, but maybe a tad easier to understand. While I was going through this, unknown to me, my husband was battling with some doubts and fears himself. He is a man of great faith and trust in the human body. While he was fighting this, God spoke to him and told him it wasn’t his battle to go through, it was mine. I was the one who needed to go through this. God’s plans are so great and so much bigger than any of us can envision and He knew I needed this opportunity.
After I conquered my fears that night, the last two weeks of my pregnancy went by relatively well. I was tired, I was swollen, I was ornery, I was ready for my baby, but these are normal end of pregnancy discomforts. The battle I had to fight had been conquered. I was ready for the labor and birth to begin!
For several years I had been reading about pain free birth. It is completely possible for a woman to have a pain free birth. Naturally, I wanted one! The problem with pain free births is that in our society, we literally grow in the womb of a woman who doesn’t believe or even know of a pain free birth. From that moment until the moment we give birth, we are surrounded with the belief that birth is painful. Because of that deep belief, it generally is painful. Some women are able to break that pattern of belief and achieve the pain free birth that I was praying for. In other societies, pain free birth is the norm and it is from them, that women have begun to dream of this possibility.
Two days after my due date, on a Friday, I left by myself to run some errands. I returned home at 5pm and went to use the bathroom. As I was finishing up, the thought ran through my head, “I wonder when I’m going to lose my plug”. With the previous births, I had lost my plug just prior to going into labor and so for me, this is a sign of labor approaching soon. As I stood from the toilet, I felt something release and a gush of fluid! How ironic the timing of that thought followed by that release! When I looked at the “goop”, however, it looked yellowy-green. I had always read that green fluid is a sign of meconium and is not a good thing. While this wasn’t dark like the green I had envisioned, it made me concerned. I showed Jon and we talked about it. I had prayed very hard that if a reason arose for the need to go to the hospital, that God would really hit me over the head with it, because it was going to take a big thing to get me to leave my home. I know that if we went in because of this, it would lead to an induction which leads to a lot more pain which can frequently lead to a cesarean which can lead to NICU for baby…simply a road I wanted to avoid. I started to believe that this was simply another test for me. In the end, I was correct, it was nothing more than the mucous and when baby came out there was no sign of meconium at all.
Within thirty minutes of the water rupturing, the contractions began. Nothing wild and crazy, nothing overly demanding, but they were there and they were consistent. While we did not intend on having a midwife at the birth, we did have two friends committed to helping us. One was here to help with the boys and all the other little miscellaneous things that crop up at a birth and the other to video the birth for us. The first one had an hour drive, so it was hard to know when was the right time to call these ladies to come. Each of my births have gone faster, the last being only 5 hours, so I didn’t want to stall too long in calling them.
By nine in the evening, 4 hours after the water ruptured, both friends were here, everyone waiting upon my body and the baby’s to get to work! But nothing really happened and at ten the kids went to bed and Jon and I laid down in the living room to take a nap. The friends were supposed to rest, too, but they had more difficulty! Jon spent the time praying, I dozed in and out trying not to dwell on things I have little control over. During the next two hours, the contractions slowed down even more and even felt like they had stopped. I found myself wondering if I was really in labor or if I had made a mistake.
Two hours later, at midnight I awoke to use the bathroom. When I finished, I went into the toy room where one of the friends was waiting. She was simply doodling and waiting. She said she was too excited to sleep. This was the first birth she had even been to that didn’t include her own births. As we started to chat, the contractions started to come. This time they were stronger and sharper, lasting a full minute and returning about 3 minutes later. It was nice to know that I hadn’t been fooled by my body, that I was really in labor! Within a few minutes of joining the first friend, the other one somehow knew we were up and she joined us as well. By a quarter after midnight, Jon was up and sitting in our circle as well. We sat and chatted quietly, though I have no memory of what we were talking about. As a contraction came on, we were quiet as I worked with it and then conversation would return. It didn’t take long before I was moving around trying different positions to work through the contractions because they were getting more and more uncomfortable. I sat on the futon; on the futon with my feet raised; leaning forward, on my squatting chair; on the squatting chair leaning on the exercise ball; seated on the ball; kneeling on the floor, resting on the ball…yep…I tried everything I could think if. I finally came to the conclusion, nothing was comfortable and it wasn’t looking good for my pain free birth.
Around 2:30 in the morning, I decided I was ready to get into the pool. Jon had prepared it hours before and it was ready for me! It was actually still too warm and had to be cooled down, but I was able to slip into the warm comfort and get a short breather with the contractions. The transition into the water caused my body to skip a contraction, so instead of them being two to three minutes apart, I had a six minute break. That was nice! Our oldest son was brought down shortly after that. He was eight at the time and was very excited to be a part of the birth and was well prepared. He came down, sat quietly and took a few pictures for me. He’s a very caring boy and knew to be still for me. His presence, which was at the birth of his siblings, has always brought me peace in various ways. I held his hand through one contraction and squeezed it hard at one point…partly because I needed to, partly to show him the intensity of what I was feeling. At the end of the contraction, he looked at me with wide eyes and said, “You were really squeezing hard!”
I stayed in the pool for about 2 hours, until the baby was born. Like labor outside the pool, I had to try all the different positions, struggling to find the right one. Somewhere along the way, I asked Jon to get into the pool with me. He sat in front of me and as a contraction started in, we would grasp hands and I could squeeze his hand and sort of pull with it. It looked an awful lot like we were arm wrestling! But it worked well. There were two distinct moments where I recognized the baby was pushing from the inside. I could feel the little feet pushing off from the top of the fundus, helping with the birth! At 4am I asked that the other two brothers be woke up. Jon wasn’t sure it was the right time, but I could sense we were getting close and I needed to know everyone was where they were supposed to be. I didn’t want anyone to miss the moment.
Sometime after I got into the pool, I finally had to acknowledge that the pain free birth I had been praying so hard for wasn’t going to happen. I was mad! I had wanted that pain free birth so bad and here I was, going through the exact same labor I had with my last child. In my last labor, at one of the final contractions, I was literally biting my hand because the contraction was so strong! I didn’t want his labor all over again. Needless to say, I was pouting and unhappy. But then I realized, just like when I had to tackle my worries and fears prior to labor, I had to tackle my bad attitude about the labor. I remember one distinct break between contractions, when I chose to turn inward. My eyes were open and I was staring off into nothing. In my head, I was giving myself a very stern talking-to. I told myself “You need to stop moping about not getting a pain free birth. God is with you right now! He is holding you up and supporting you! You are not alone! This is the last baby you are going to have and this baby deserves a dignified birth, just like it’s brothers received! It’s time to grow up and stop whining!” The funny part is, from the outside, it look like things are going great, that I had a good handle on the situation. The reality was, I did not! But after that two minute “mind-lashing”, I was much better!
Leading up to pushing the baby out, I had been seated forward, facing Jon, in a position that would be convenient for catching the baby (I had done this the last time and wanted to repeat it with this birth). But at the last moment, I decided to turn around, and rest at the wall of the pool on my knees. I had never pushed on my knees before, this was new to me, but was right for this baby. I could feel it was time to bear down, hard! I could feel from deep within me that this baby will be here very soon! And I was right! The head crowned and while my brain kept saying, feel your baby’s head, I couldn’t get my hand to obey. Jon suggested that I reach down and feel the baby’s head and I am very grateful for that, because I was able to obey him. There was the sweetest, softest, little head at my fingertips. I had waited nine long months for this first touch of heaven! With barely a pause, I muttered to Jon, get ready to catch the rest. I knew the contraction wasn’t going to let up and that the baby was ready to burst out. I could feel the burning and wanted to push gently with it, but the baby was ready to be with us now! One friend thought I was pushing without a contraction and was worried I would tear. Jon wasn’t planning on catching so I when I said to get ready, his response was confused. Within moments, the head was out! I had a moment to catch my breath and then I was pushing the shoulders out. They seemed like more of an effort to release, but then they were out and the rest of the baby slithered out. Jon’s hands were there and without actually catching, he pushed the baby between my legs and I looked down to see my baby “swimming” towards me. I scooped the baby up and leaned back with my prize on my chest!
Within moments, the baby started to take its first little breaths and start crying. When I was confident baby was fine, I prepared to take a peak at the gender. While I envisioned a little penis, I discovered there was none! It was our first girl, Miriam Rose! She was perfect! The rest of the postpartum was just wonderful. Prayers being answered left and right! The placenta came with ease, but strong enough to let me know it was coming. We did the breast crawl with baby and allowed her to find the breast on her own. Nursing was successful! The big brothers were filled with joy! And Jon and I, we were stunned and elated over the beauty of this birth and its journey!
I prayed for a pain free birth. What I received was a fear free birth. It took me a few days to recognize this, but it’s true. God could have given me a pain free birth, but I don’t know what one looks like or feels like. I would have been lost. What He gave me was a birth I KNEW! I knew what was happening with this labor. I knew what would come next because I had already walked this labor before. Because of this, while there was pain, there was no fear. The greatest gift, beyond the baby of course, came after the birth. As I look back at the births of my second and third sons, I generally feel pain and an overwhelming sense of discomfort. We like to say that women forget the pain of birth after the birth and while some do completely, many of us hang on to parts of it. I certainly did with those two births. But I discovered with this last one, within hours after the birth, I could look back upon the birth, the contractions, the pain, and feel nothing but joy. God took away the pain AFTER the birth! What a beautiful gift to receive!
About six weeks after Miriam’s birth, this verse was mentioned at church.
(James 1:2-4) Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
I felt it best spoke of all I learned and gained through Miriam’s pregnancy and birth! It was well worth the mental battles that we walked through!
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3 years later!
I am thankful for my 4th child and my first daughter! I am thankful to have another feminine influence in my home reminding me that I am a woman, helping me reconnect with the "girl-y" things. I am thankful for having her to help "tame" the boys in my home, or at least to help train them more easily on how to treat a lady. She is a blessing that brings tears to my eyes with how sweet, sassy, strong, intelligent, and beautiful, both inside and out she is! She completes our family with much pizazz! |
Jennifer Davis . Labor For Love Birth Services . [email protected] . 320-493-5110
